i'm feeling restless and reckless. like i just want to reach into my chest: slice the muscle, crack the ribs - grab hold of the pericardium and tug. maybe then i'll finally get the sleep i've been dying for. but it always seems just out of reach. how can one long to sleep for days and simultaneously yearn to charge through open fields? i want to make every moment matter, and i want to waste away my days.
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